The one thing about owning a pub is that you hear a lot of jokes. The thing is most of them are bad or pretty tasteless, vulgar and not worth sharing. There are a few however that give a good a chuckle and are worth sharing…these are our Top 3. If you have a pub joke worth sharing…please do!
Cause of Death – Unknown
Following a nasty car accident, mans wife slips into a coma. After spending weeks at her bedside, the husband is summoned to the hospital. ‘It’s amazing’ says the Doctor, breathlessly. ‘While bathing your wife, one of the nurses noticed she responded to her breasts being touched’. The husband is very excited and, and asks what he can do. ‘Well,’ says the doc, ‘if one erogenous zone provokes a response, perhaps the others will too’. So the husband goes alone into the room, where he slips his hands under the covers and begins to massage her bits. Amazingly the woman begins to move and even moan a little. The man tells the doctor, waiting outside. ‘Excellent!’ he says. ‘If she responds like that to your finger, I think you should try oral sex’. Nodding, the husband returns to the room – but within minutes the heart monitor alarms go off, and the medics pile into the room. ‘What happened?’ shouts the doctor, as he checks the prone woman’s face. ‘I’m not sure,’ replies the man, looking sheepish. ‘I think she choked.’
Fairground Ride
After a woman meets a man in a bar, they talk and end up leaving together. They get back to his condo, and as he’s showing her around, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of them – all arranged in size, from the smallest on the shelves nearest the floor, to the huge daddy bears on the very top shelf. Although surprised, the woman decides not to mention this to him. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks smiling, ‘How was it?’, ‘Well,’ says the man, frowning. ‘You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.’
Put In Her Place
An 18-year-old girl walks into a pub and rips off her clothes and asks: ‘Is there anyone here man enough to make a woman of me?’
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says: ‘Here, iron this!’
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The Landing Bar & Grill is located on Quadra Island, right beside the BC Ferry Terminal at Quathiaski Cove…and easy 2 minute walk. We offer a traditional Pub style 7 days a week for lunch and dinner, a wonderful weekend Brunch from 11:00AM to 3:00PM. We also offer daily specials and great selection of draft, including our local favorite Surgenor Brewing.
Come on in and enjoy some Good Food and Good Times at the Landing Bar & Grill.
Order In or Take Out…phone 250-285-3713
Cheers,
Lawrence Lewis & Tannis Shaw, Owner/Operator
